Sunday, September 7, 2008

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K Turns One!

One year already?!? I've been an emotional wreck all week! I just can't believe that my daughter is a longer my little infant. Always on the go, little miss attitude, caring and sweet...TODDLER!

I couldn't help but take a good look at her today and notice how much she has grown...all of the things that she has learned. She is so much like a sponge, soaking up everthing around her. Always the observer; sitting back, analyzing everyones move...taking in her surroundings, (she gets that from Daddy). Then like a bolt of lightening...joining in on the action, making sure that she is in the center of attention...entertaining all around her, (just like Mommy).

Now, I must get a little serious for a bit. When I was 18, I worked at a Fitness Center. One morning, things were business as usual, when two guys ran up to the desk, yelling that a guy was down in the basketball court...not breathing.
Without thinking, I yelled at my co-worker to call 911 and ordered my mom to come with me to the court (she and I worked together).
When I got to the court, I noticed a group of about 20 guys huddled around one guy off to the side of the court. Immediately, I ran in and performed CPR. I was able to get him to breathe on his own, although it was labored. After 10 minutes...yes 10 minutes paramedics arrived and took over.
Unfortunately, he passed away while being transported to the hospital. I still do not know his name.
I will never forget that day, I still hear the humming of the air conditioner radiating on the gymnasium walls. I can still feel how cold and damp his skin was...and when I close my eyes, I can still remember his face.
These are things that I will never has taken me awhile to cope with the experience. Even though I didn't know him, he has played a major part in my life. After this happened, I immediately went into self destruction. Numb to any pain, daily panic attacks, nightmares. I blamed myself for his death...if only I had gotten there sooner, if only I had performed CPR better...if only.
His girlfriend was 5 months pregnant with a boy. I blamed myself for that boy not having a father. I blamed myself for the pain that his family has to go through.

The reason that I bring this up is because 5 years to the day, he passed away. At 9:55am, PST, September 7, 2003...I looked up and saw two men running towards me to call 911. I don't know why I glanced at the clock at that moment...but I did. At 9:55am,PST, September 7, 2007...David and I welcomed our daughter into the world. After an emergency c-section, because the cord was around her neck and she had no oxygen. Coincidence? Some may think so. But I like to think that I have an Angel in heaven, watching out for us.